Top 5 Reasons You Should Learn to Play Guitar

Hi there. How YOU doin'?

Someone told me that if you want people to read your blogs, you have to come up with some numbered lists. Then, that same person proceeded to tell me the top 12 reasons you have to come up with numbered lists.

Which is NOT what I'm going to write about today. For several reasons.

Which I'm not even going to tell you. Ha!

But, what I AM going to tell you is the top 5 reasons you should learn to play guitar. It will be my very first numbered list in a blog. I'm excited. Tomorrow I am going to cover "How to change your guitar strings in 437 easy steps." And I'm going to get totally plowed before I write it, so it should be a good one.

But, for now...here are the 5 Top Reasons You Should Learn to Play Guitar:

1.) To pick up chicks. Guitar players seem to have some kind of magical powers. I'm not sure exactly what it is...but I can spend a significant amount of time in public places, and NO ONE even looks twice. I can dress up and go out to a club, and leave there without a single phone number. But, I could sit on a curb in my pajamas with my hair sticking straight up...and if I have my guitar, girls will stop and talk to me. I swear, it's better than a puppy.

2.) To create an outlet for expressing your innermost feelings. It's true, from laughing with humor, to healing from heartbreak...learning the guitar allows you to actually create the music that touches you. Without a doubt, my ability to crank my amplifier with gain wide open, full throttle, shattered glasses, pictures on the floor, ears ringing, head banging, crunching, thrashing, slashing, shredding, my cover of John Denver's  Rocky Mountain High...it has saved countless lives. Hey, you have to set the rage free somehow.

3.) To pick up chicks. Again, better than puppies. I can't emphasize this enough.

4.) Guitar is extremely versatile. You can break out your guitar  almost anywhere, and become part of life's soundtrack. As both an instrument for accompaniment, or as a self contained instrument capable of producing complete pieces of music...it is awesome. It helps if you've learned a wide variety of things, but it's not too hard to learn a few standard songs from most genres...and then you're set. From Christmas to campfires, weddings to funerals, kids' birthdays to entertaining at the senior center...I have learned enough of the standards that I can manage to find something to play for nearly every person and every occasion. Guitar really has added a lot to my life in this way, and part of that has been the experience of helping people smile. I love that stuff-and guitar has been a big part of that.

5.) Guitar is portable. I used to have a Martin Backpacker guitar. It was pretty cool. It was about a quarter of the size of a typical acoustic guitar, and it was light and shaped kind of weird...designed to be carried on hiking trails and camping excursions. It was actually small enough to be carried in a backpack. Although that is an extreme example of portability, let's see you get a grand piano or a tuba on a mountain top.

So, there it is. My first numbered list on my blog. I'm sure they will get better when I start drinking heavily again.

And, unfortunately, I made up the part about picking up chicks,

I'm investing in a puppy.