Dropping the "F-bomb," and other ways to take up baking...

As anyone who has learned or taught guitar will tell you, learning to play an "f-chord" is a critical time in the development of a guitar skills base. It is often the time that about half of my students will decide to say "screw this," and to take up baking.

It can be a cruel thing, that "f-chord"....or, as I used to call it, the "*@^#%$* f-chord." Much like using the word "indubitably," I would do the musical equivalent of altering entire sentence structures to avoid having to use it. I have transposed many a songs into an alternate key just to get around using that sucker....

It's a sad thing when you see a new guitar player excited by the fact that they finally learned the "G, A, D" chord progression, and could therefore play 4, 962 country songs...only to then encounter a song that prominently features the "f-chord" and (after I show it to them) to have them look at me with that hollow, empty stare.

The "G major" chord is no picnic for a new guitarist either. But they practice with persistence, enduring frustration and hand cramps, finally getting the hang of it...and still the day will come when they will inevitably say to me, "I want to learn 'Hotel California.'"

I've come to call it, "The Inevitable 'Hotel California' Moment." It can also be called, "The Inevitable 'House of the Rising Sun' Moment." It just depends on the avenue by which the student would like to enter into the world of baking.

I can transpose a lot of songs to avoid the "*#@%$^ f-chord"...but these two just don't sound quite right in alternate keys. So, I hand them a muffin tin.

No, I'm kidding...of course. I learned it, and if I can do it, anyone can do it.

But, it IS one of those defining times that tests how committed you are to working through the frustration of sounding like you are trying to play guitar with your elbows.

Honestly, the only reason I made it through is because I had already tried baking, and was still experiencing guilt over the whole "exploding cupcakes" incident.

Anyway, don't give up. Stay strong. Once you master the "f-major" chord, an entire new world of musical opportunity will open up for you. Your 4,962 country songs will turn into millions of country songs...PLUS you will be able to check into the 'Hotel California.'

Right up until you have to learn the B-chord. That one is a real bummer.